RapturePalooza &amp; Kenny G (at 11:15): Ken's show

Listener comments!

9:01am Dan B From Upstate:

Apocolypse WOW!

9:02am pierre:

Bonjour Ken,
How does anyone know if they are ready ?

9:02am Maria D:

Another apocalypse party! They're the best!

9:02am annie:

ahh.. i was hoping you'd celebrate the rapture

9:02am Hauswolf:

Ich bin ready.

9:03am Mr. Two-Arms:

I'm pretty sure I've been waiting my entire life for Ken's rapture show, I just never knew it until now.

9:04am Nathan:

Hey, at least the coming apocalypse will be life affirming and probably more fun than sitting in front a computer...

9:04am annie:

wonder if bush will go? didn't he plan all this anyway?

9:04am Michelle in Green Bay:

Good morning! I get to spend my last Wednesday morning on this earth listening to Ken's show! Because school's out for the summer. Or, evidently, school's out forever.

9:05am F0F0:

Good morning americans, and good afternoon fellow europeans (that includes the English people too).

9:05am hamburger:

holy crapsticks this board sure filled up fast...

9:05am bbell:

So I didn't need to go to the dentist this morning?

9:05am Stevel:

Au revoir Ken!

9:06am jeremy the listener:

seems like cocktails at lunch may be appropriate

9:06am Mark:

I need to have the answer to one question before the rapture

9:06am Michelle in Green Bay:

Well, hamburger, the end is near. Better speak up now!

9:06am Marketing the Experience:

But will the end of the world make use of collected personal data to customize the individual experience?
What's your death sign ?

9:06am listener mark:

Good morning Ken.
Good morning everyone.
Hold on to your hats, we're going for one hell of a ride.

9:07am jeremy the listener:

will Kenny G be initating the rapture?

9:07am Mark:

who dresses Kenny g?

9:07am dale:

if jesus comes to my house i hope he's not allergic to cats

9:08am Jon:

If Jesus came to my house I'd have to hide the bong.

9:08am Bad Ronald:

If Jesus comes to my house he better bring beer!

9:08am F0F0:

hey, Michelle in Green Bay!

Would you send me your train whistling DIY guide?

9:10am F0F0:

RaptoreJesus dresses Kenny G.

9:10am Parq:

If Jesus came to my house, I trust he'd be understanding about our housekeeping. I mean, he's Jesus, right?

9:11am pierre:

Who said that the rapture will happen this saturday 2011 ?

9:12am Michelle in Green Bay:

I think Marilyn Monroe said it best: "You just put your lips together and blow."

9:12am listener mark:

If Jesus comes to the door, I'd tell him to get a haircut.

9:12am still b/p:

(Lauren Bacall as Slim)

9:14am Chris from DC:

Pierre, this guy on the call in show is the one saying the world will end.

9:14am pierre:

@ Michelle in Green Bay : isn't that a quote from "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" ?

9:15am Michelle in Green Bay:

Pierre, if it's not, it ought to be.

9:15am dale:

this guy is like a hundred and forty years old. ken, are you bothering to schedule next weeks programming?

9:15am annie:

sounds as if he should take another drink

9:16am Richard from Venezuela:

Good last wednesday morning to all.

9:16am pierre:

Vincent Price are you here to ?

9:16am listener mark:

The banks are closed on Sunday. So,...ahh,.. and I'm really busy on Monday. Give us a call in a few weeks,

9:16am F0F0:

Someone is already rapturing my internet-radio signal. Can't hear shit, captain.

9:17am dale:

mass for the bomb from beneath the planet of the apes?

9:17am Cheri Pi:

here I am. Gettin' my "scare" on.

9:17am annie:

my favorite movie about the rapture is "the next voice you hear" with nancy (davis) reagan..

9:18am dale:

victor buono always played powerful creeps

9:19am Rand:

morning ken. morning all. another lost soul from green bay checkin' in.

9:19am Detroit Mac:

Tell St. Peter at The Golden Gate, that I hate to make him wait, but I just got to have one more cigarette

9:20am pierre:

Salut Cheri Pi !

9:20am Richard from Venezuela:

I need my Jessica Hahn.

9:22am Michelle in Green Bay:

Rand, you're in Green Bay?

9:22am Dan B From Upstate:

Love the 2012 with a circle and a line through it. "You think the world is ending NEXT year? You're lame!"

9:22am Mark:

Well if the bible guarantees it then....

9:22am AnAnonymousParty:

Yikes, is it Krampus already?

9:22am Cheri Pi:

Hi Pierre!

9:23am PMD:

I didn't know Pentecost was so painful

9:23am Nathan:

Does anyone remember a film from the 80s.. about a nuclear blast or meltdown happening near a small suburban town... it had a single word name. Remember a scene where the mother was trying to wash a child with radiation sickness in the bathtub and the food situation was getting more desperate... I know vague clues but anyone?

9:23am Ken:

Hello all!! Pierre, it's Harold Camping, leader of "Family Radio." They own 100 FM stations throughout the US.

9:23am Detroit Mac:

Ezekiel can blow my fuc'in trumpet

9:27am dale:

ezekiel's wheel was a ufo - that's common knowledge. wasn't that movie 'the day after'? it was huge event

9:27am annie:

"testament", nathan?? one of the best.. jane alexander

9:27am still b/p:

Heavenly trumps vs. heathen vuvuzelas! Battle of the cosmic puckers!

9:28am Lizardner Dave:

Not to sound greedy, but I haven't gotten my swag yet and i REALLY wanted to ascend to heaven wearing the new Seven Second Delay shirt so I could hit up Andy for money at the pearly gates.

9:28am BSI:

who has asbestos-coated carrot-cake?

9:29am pierre:

Harold Camping, i've never heard of him. So i guess my only knowledge about rapture is through WFMU, i like this.

9:30am annie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7760bVC19U4

9:31am Nathan:

@Annie - That's the one! Thanks... my child brain was a bit fuzzy at the time. Remember Miracle Mile? That one stuck with me... though on a recent re-watch completely annoying. Who would go back for a woman they just met when they've got a chance to escape complete annihilation... ?

9:31am Mark:

I guess this rapture thing means there's no time for me to have a love child with Arnold Schwarzenegger

9:31am PMD:

is the anti Christ's name Susej?

9:32am Everlasting Bros.:

Wake up, little Susej, wake up!

9:33am glenn:

so....... what's the donation level at which one becomes a true believer? are there different levels? can i become a friend of a true believer?

9:33am Chris from DC:

Thank you for callnig and sharing, and shall we take our next call please.

9:33am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Harold's been getting cranky lately. If you call him and ask about 1994 and his other failed predictions, he hangs up on you immediately

9:33am Richard from Venezuela:

If is like this Susej: http://www.tu.tv/videos/susej-vera-se-lo-quita <3

9:33am Anti-Christ:

If you send ME your money, I'll try and make it as painless as possible for you.

9:34am jan:

Family radio's fund raising techniques are quite effective, then. Should
the apocalypse not occur on the 22nd, perhaps WFMU can predict the end of the world for the next marathon.

9:34am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Wel-come, to open for-uuum...

9:35am Mark:

maybe Harold Camping needs help with goesintas from Jethro Bodine

9:35am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Someone recently called Open Forum and asked Harold if he would write them a post dated check for 5/22. He was pissed!

9:35am glenn:

maybe ken should hire camping for next years marathon. assuming there is one, of course.

9:35am Listener Bill:

Slight mathematical error? He forgot to carry the 1, or was Satan messing with his calculator again? I would expect for something as big as the rapture, you would check your figures.

9:36am BSI:

Bob Tilton was better on the teevee, but Camping is better for sample/remix fun.

9:36am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Great show, Ken!
Really digging it, as if it's our last....

9:36am Listener Bill:

I was hoping that the answer to math problem for posting would be 666.

9:37am listener mark:

So, at end of the world it's "Hannibal Lechter" time? I hope we can listen to WFMU while we eat.

9:37am Michelle in Green Bay:

We're partying like it's May 20th.

9:37am trish:

Swindling for dollars is ok, but saying shit and fuck isn't ?

9:37am Ken:

Rev DJ, I just played that or a similar clip. Will play it again!

9:37am glenn:

i'm glad i got in one last viewing of young frankenstein, then.

9:38am Detroit Mac:

I was going to heaven, but forgot to carry the 2 in the $10's place!

9:38am Daniel:

amazingly, familyradio.com is blocked by my corporate firewall...does this company know something i don't?

9:39am pierre:

@ Ken : if its your last show, will you play Tonetta ?

9:39am Gina K:

I love the music & thereby wish the rapture could happen every week. maybe we could a regular show "Rapture Fun House"?

9:42am annie:

i say we are owed a delayed krampus show.. like christmas in july or some such thing as that

9:42am dale:

just on craigslist and local catholic church scheduled a tag sale for saturday - someone has their signals crossed

9:42am todd from fargo:

request: "drugs, drugs, drugs".

9:42am Webhamster Henry:

Ken has frequent flyer miles on flight F.I.N.A.L.

9:43am annie:

(speaking of which, is the new schedule coming out soon, so we can start bitching?)

9:43am pierre:

@ todd from fargo : he (Tonetta) have songs about Devil, and God, who could suit Ken for that specific show.

9:45am todd from fargo:

@pierre. ok. i just tuned in. thanks.

9:45am still b/p:

These guys kinda went all Pachelbel.

9:46am PMD:

Rev DJ - just reading about that call in was great. Good laugh.

9:46am listener mark:

The world's worst catastrophe is the Mets.

9:46am pierre:

@todd from fargo: well "drugs drugs drugs" suits me to :)

9:47am Das:

I hope the men from Mars don't start eating cars

9:48am Mark:

thanks for reminding me that I want to get the deluxe edition Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space

9:48am glenn:

the twins are worse than the mets.

9:48am Pied Piper:

I'll never tell.

9:49am Ken:

Coming up: The Antichrist!!

9:49am Rev. DJ ManRich:

I have this record! Mine sounds horrible, though. I think it's badly mastered or a bad pressing.
Wilkerson is famous for The Cross and the Switchblade.

9:50am Richard from Venezuela:

Antichrist by Lars von Trier

9:50am Ken:

Here's the arithmetic Camping used to settle on May 21, 2011 (from a newspaper interview he granted):

By Camping's understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.
The number 5, Camping concluded, equals "atonement." Ten is "completeness." Seventeen means "heaven." Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.
"Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.," he began. "Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that's 1,978 years."
Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.
Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.
Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.
Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.
"Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story," Camping said. "It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved.
"I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that," Camping said.

9:50am Listener Bill:

Wait a minute, Billy Graham went to heaven? This really is fiction.

9:51am listener mark:

At least the Twins make it to the post season.

9:51am Cecile:

I did an end of the world show in 1984. I got a very nice letter from the Psychiatric Forensic Center in Ypsilanti a week later. He liked that my closing line was "take you shoes and socks off, sit down and relax. You're dead."

9:51am Rev. DJ ManRich:

I think Harold's one of those retirees who lost his mind when he quit his cozy engineering job.

9:52am Wizard of Oz Scarecrow:

The sum of the square roots of any two
sides of an isosceles triangle is equal
to the square root of the remaining side.
Oh joy, rapture! I've got a brain!

9:52am Rev. DJ ManRich:

On his show from Sunday night someone asked him if he was on crack and he thanked them for sharing.

9:52am richard c:

@Ken, well in that case I guess I'll start atoning quick..

9:52am glenn:

so........ jesus was a mathematician? i thought he was just a humble wood whacker.

9:52am Ken:

Thomas Oring, PR Man for the Antichrist!

9:53am Cecile:

I used to do interesting things. I don't know what happened to me.

9:53am Ken:

Rev DJMan - I heard that call!!

9:53am annie:

i knew kissenger had something to do with this

9:53am glenn:

if there is a post season this year, the twins won't be anywhere close.

9:53am Cheri Pi:

@Cecile-I love that last line! It should be on a t-shirt.

9:54am still b/p:

Ken, taking any special Atonetta requests?

9:55am Tuli Kupferberg:

Scenes from the Rapture:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoTXVuIIrwE

9:55am DF:

NO! DON'T DO THE TATTOO!!!!!!!

9:56am Giselle:

the antichrist sounds Hungarian

9:57am jojo:

thure! i hope have thought austrian

9:57am BSI:

I have it on good authority that the Antichrist is from Hyattsville, MD.

9:57am Cecile:

thanks, Cheri.

9:58am glenn:

is there any significance to the fact that osama got took out before the rapture?

9:58am Laura L:

The antichrist is a vampire--"I vant to drink your blood."

9:58am AnAnonymousParty:

Yikes, is it Dave Emory already?

9:58am holland oats:

this is what i get for not listening to my brother

9:59am At the End Club:

How much to go in the back for a rapt dance?

10:00am listener mark:

If the world ends at 6PM on Saturday, at least we can listen to "The Cherry Blossom Clinic" with Terre T.

10:01am Neptunes:

You can get your rapt dance here for free.

10:02am dale:

this all reminds me to go buy a new pair of underpants and socks. wanna make a good first impression.

10:02am zombie:

i'm kinda looking forward to sunday. LOTS of appetizers.

10:02am Cecile:

apocalypse and jazz hands, goes together like metal shavings and chewing gum

10:02am ex:

lol

10:03am Bill:

Didn't Scott W. play that Wilkerson/Ttribulation piece the other day? I don't see it on his playlist.

10:03am dave:

what about the rapture by geesefrom hooked up to a bag ...with ?

10:04am Scott W:

@Bill, nope - you're prolly thinking of the Flight F.I.N.A.L. excerpts

10:05am listener mark:

I don't like religion, it's just too "churchy."

10:05am Terry Jones:

This Camping guy is stealing all my glory. I'm gonna burn him.

10:07am Lulu in Elmer Gantry:

Oh, he gave me special instructions back of the pulpit Christmas Eve. He got to howlin' "Repent! Repent!" and I got to moanin' "Save me! Save me!" and the first thing I know he rammed the fear of God into me so fast I never heard my old man's footsteps!

10:08am listener mark:

I guess Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple get the last laugh.

10:09am BSI:

Will you have to give legal ID after the fireball?

10:09am Bill:

Weird. Sounded like the same thing. Maybe I am thinking of another DJ. Anyway Scott, this is Bill, formerly of Rutgers E&E (now in Frostburg). Good to hear from you!

10:10am holland oats:

hey ken i bet this all didn't seem so FUNNY on them brownies huh?

10:11am Soupy Sales:

Hey, that's my line!

10:11am Happy Listener:

Ohaiyo Bakkayaro! Go to Hell, all of you!

10:12am Rupert:

If you like Poison Kool-aidas...

10:13am glenn:

will we get our swag before saturday? i want to be wearing one of my new t shirts when i go.

10:14am Marshall Applewhite:

Grab your Nikes and $5.75!

10:15am glenn:

assuming i'm included. will marijuana use count against me?

10:15am Webhamster Henry:

Dr. Brinkley: http://wfmu.org/LCD/GreatDJ/Brinkley.html

10:16am listener mark:

glenn is right! Dammit! Where is my swag? Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

10:16am glenn:

what about being canadian ( code for godless commie)?

10:17am holland oats:

they're out of stickers - 'sides what are they gonna do, fedex it to you?

10:17am PMD:

Good Doonesbury today re: rapture: http://www.doonesbury.com/strip

10:17am jill:

Mail to PO Box: 666

10:18am holland oats:

ironically, brotehr camping wants an fmu sticker too

10:18am dale:

i'm reading 'gay pride - planned by god as a sign of the end' on the family radio site. most informative

10:19am Cheri Pi:

YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

10:19am Mark:

rip Poly Styrene

10:19am Maria D:

What I can't wrap my head around is what people think they're going to do with their time up in heaven for all eternity. Feasting with the Lamb and your family members day after day? Do I get to dirty dance with Prince?

10:20am glenn:

i'm going finally write my novel.

10:20am Westboro Baptist Church:

Rapture? BRING IT!

10:20am OM:

@Maria: song and prayer. prayer and song. repeat ad eternium. it'll be hell.

10:20am Thelma:

Can someone play Nina Simone's or Peter Tosh's "Sinnerman?
Judgement Dau wouldn't be the same without this song.

10:21am holland oats:

@maria leaning over the edge and going 'told ya!'

10:22am glenn:

or maybe i'll learn to play the banjo.

10:23am BSI:

good call on the Elevators tune....

10:23am Fred Phelps:

Special message for FMU marathon contributors:
God Hates Swags

10:23am holland oats:

...up there jamming with jimi and janis

10:23am jen v.:

ken, what was the name of the charlatan that lured people into across-the-border surgery? that guy sounds like fun.

10:25am listener mark:

banjos are the tools of the devil, so Pete Seeger, it's not looking good

10:25am Michelle in Green Bay:

Great fake-out...Blondie has been in my head ever since someone suggested "Rapture" on Ken's Facebook yesterday.

10:25am glenn:

well, richard thompson's a muslim, so i won't be able to take guitar lessons from him.

10:28am dale:

if anyone plans on eating me please be aware that i have a cold. you may want to cook me to at least 180 degrees and use a meat thermometer to be certain.

10:28am Thelma:

"Sinnerman" by Mij on ESP-disk would be all right too.

10:30am Walmart:

3 shopping days left until the end of the world. Free overnight shipping available "for a limited time only".

10:32am BSI:

comma sutra?

10:32am Gina K:

Debbie Harrys' Sara Lee Commercial was good evidence of the coming Rapture.

10:34am glenn:

bad desserts, great bass player.

10:34am still b/p:

Yes, comma sutra, illustrated.
http://tinyurl.com/6hq3wnr

10:35am glenn:

which reminds me, who will be the official fast food supplier to the rapture?

10:35am dave:

http://www.ra-el.org/messages.html

2nd coming here--nice hair and beard

10:36am Michael:

It was a SubGenius who pointed out to me that the word 'rapture' stems from the same root as 'rape'. So, thoughts:
1.) It's convenient that they'll all rise up naked,
2.) They might well be anointed with oils.
3.) A truly horrible joke about Dominique Strauss-Kahn

10:37am glenn:

also, i have to assume gas prices will be coming down, since there will be less demand. this isn't such a bad thing, after all.

10:37am dave:

ah john peel---miss him

10:37am Al Crowley:

Do What Thou Wilt Is The Whole Of The Law.
One would go mad if one took the Bible seriously; but to take it seriously one must be already mad.
Love Is The Law, Love Under Will!

10:40am pierre:

what about Dominique Strauss-Kahn ?

10:42am Catch 22:

I can use that.

10:43am stefica:

great to hear The The again!

10:43am Vicki:

fantastic to hear this The The song

10:43am Vicki:

ha ha, ditto, yes.

10:44am Vicki:

nice to find out that The The doesn't age

10:45am Ken:

`Get your Bible Verse Requests ready and call me on the air at 201-209-9368.

10:46am PMD:

Wait, I thought all pets go to heaven

10:46am wondering:

What ever happened to the David & Goliath show?

10:47am 67tele:

for anyone in the Denver area that's going on a little 'trip' Saturday; I'll be happy to go around watering your plants and feeding your pets - just leave all them earthly valuables in the front room and we'll call it even. First come, first 'served'

10:47am glenn:

geeee daaaaaavey.

10:48am annie:

i always liked that show "lamp unto my feet"

10:48am holland oats:

flesh-colored kens that glow in the dark...

10:49am glenn:

gumby and pokey had more street cred.

10:49am Cecile:

PMD, I drew a goofy little picture of that that I used to send out to people of pets in heaven. My joke is that I'm an agnostic except for pets.

10:49am Wanda June:

Everyone plays shuffleboard in heaven...

10:50am BSI:

Gumby could totally take Davey in a cage-match.

10:50am annie:

there will be no scrabble in heaven

10:51am glenn:

longer reach.

10:51am Lizardner Dave:

Ther are no Asian supermarkets down in hell.

10:51am PMD:

@Cecile - send to Ken so he can post!
@ annie - Noooooo!!!!!!

10:51am holland oats:

@annie i bingoed w 'corduroy' earlier today - just sayin'

10:51am Mark:

in heaven there is no beer...

that's why we drink it here

10:52am Satan:

Really? That explains why i can't find durian.

10:52am wondering:

I meant the David & Goliath Show that used to air on wfmu.

10:52am Satan:

Or squid tubes.

10:52am BSI:

Good point. If there's no decent ale or hot-sauce up there, screw your filthy "paradise."

10:53am annie:

corduroy!!! wow, don't tell pmd...

10:53am Chris from DC:

Have to go to a meeting. Should I bother?

10:53am annie:

hey holland, you play on fb?

10:54am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Dunno of someone else has suggested this, but there's an amusing Harold bit on Negativland's Pastor Dick release. It's titled Hell Car

10:54am Laura L:

This might come in handy--Ken Smith sorted it all out for us:
http://www.amazon.com/Kens-Guide-Bible-Ken-Smith/dp/0922233179/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1305730203&sr=1-1

10:54am holland oats:

yes'm - wanna fake-friend up? mike janson (nilsson pic)

10:54am j':

the The so good. many thanks!

10:55am Mark:

When we're gone from here,
all our friends will be drinking all our beer!

10:55am Cecile:

I sent you a couple of .jpegs, Ken.

10:55am glenn:

for those who missed this. - it's very funny. vegan black metal chef.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeZlih4DDNg

10:56am PMD:

@ annie, you are such an addict...
@ holland, great word!

10:56am Rev. DJ ManRich:

Oh, Harold gets so worked up! I've really been enjoying the hell out of Open Forum lately!

10:56am still b/p:

Cecile -- I have the...rapturous...Mark Lindsay bizness with me. And it's choice stuff, but I think the incongruity factor here today would be just too ha-yuge. And maybe a blasphemyy/idolatry risk, and y'know, at R minus 3, you can't be too careful.

10:57am annie:

done.

10:57am Cecile:

Jesus actually said in the Bible "none will know the hour, none will know the day." That's the Catholic Church's position - say what you will about my former church, at least we're sane about that.

10:57am annie:

i'm still looking for go-players.. so.. yeah, well maybe the rapture will cure this nasty habit, eh?

10:58am PMD:

Please someone call in Bible verse - begats.

10:58am Cecile:

annie, if/when you get an iPod touch or iPhone, I'll totally play Scrabble with you.

10:59am glenn:

how about cribbage or euchre?

11:00am Cecile:

If you know of a cribbage app, I'm up for it.

11:00am PMD:

cribbage!

11:00am sissy spaceship:

the carter family - when the world is on fire

11:00am Bob Euecker:

Hey sports fans!

11:01am annie:

actually cecile, i'm getting close to that.. i may have to get one for the job, here..and the scary thing is that i can operate one pretty well without thinking..

11:01am PMD:

@cecile and glenn - ever played cutthroat cribbage?

11:01am holland oats:

old codger?

11:01am Carmichael:

Good morning Kenneth, future floaters, and fellow hell-bent rapture victims.

11:01am glenn:

ummmmmm - is there a rapture app?

11:02am frank:

If we're all here on May 22nd will WFMu refund our marathon pledges?

11:02am annie:

wait, new games to play... no rapture, noooo!!!!!

11:02am Cecile:

That's kind of how they're designed, girl. :D Let me know if you do! I also have 1,000,000 other great apps as well. I love my iPod.

PMD, if you mean my dad making me cry as a kid because he'd grab every point I missed when counting in my first games, then yes.

11:03am glenn:

i don't know, but i'm a killer crib player. does that count?

11:03am paul:

ken's voice... OMG

11:03am Cecile:

My FiL is a great cribbage player. He's in a league and has gotten certificates from the national association for getting 28 hands...

11:04am Jeff:

Seems like there's always "comedy" on when I tune in to WFMU. Disappointing

11:04am Mark:

In Heaven there are no drugs
That's why we hang with thugs
And when the Lord pulls the plug
All the thugs will still be selling drugs, yeah.

11:04am angel:

Cribbage boards in Heaven are made of gold.

11:04am glenn:

i've been playing since i was four, and i've never had a 29 hand. lots of 19s, though.

11:04am dale:

don't let your ball go into old man freedman's yard - you'll never get it back

11:06am Cecile:

Yeah, me too. Plenty of 19s! I wish Paul Hardcastle's 19 was about cribbage.

11:06am Lizardner Dave:

What time does Zatumba show up?

11:06am Cecile:

29, that's right glenn. He got a certificate for that. You can take that point from me.

11:06am OM:

Rev Ken: I'm interested in selling my daughter into slavery. Can you give a biblical opinion on this?

11:07am PMD:

@Cecile, oh dear. Not sure I'm that level.
@glenn - must have been somethign my family made up. If youdon't see points and someone else does, the eprson who finds them gets the points.

11:07am glenn:

nah, i don't play that way.

11:08am Mark:

my private place? are you my therapist?

11:08am PMD:

@ glenn, my ex husband's father once got a 29 adn he was interviewed for the local newspaper. :-)
Also, we don't reallly play that way...just kind of as a joke

11:08am Cecile:

PMD, that's pretty much how my family plays. Except with 100% less crying now.

11:10am annie:

we always played cut-throat hearts

11:10am glenn:

if there really was a god, there would be butter chicken ice cream.

11:11am PMD:

@ annie... many hearts have been broken but not in this game... a saying we have. I love hearts.

11:11am Lizardner Dave:

The Rapture is real - it is on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/The-Rapture-of-May-21-2011/209503015733694

11:11am PMD:

@ glenn - write to Ben and Jerry's!

11:13am Lizardner Dave:

We'll know Kenny G has arrived when you say "Oh Spider Man", right?

11:13am PMD:

@ Cecile - just read the comment about your dad.Wow! hard core! poor young girl you were

11:13am annie:

it's tough to be serious when it's funny

11:13am Meghan:

yay Bronwyn!

11:14am Cecile:

PMD: Yeah, he was trying to prepare me for life, I guess.

11:14am Foglizard:

This would be a great time to play track one from the Viking Crown album - Innocence from Hell (Track 1. Intro - Sons of Sadus) the preview is on Amazon if you want to search it. I would love to know what movie that is from. -Foglizard

11:14am AnAnonymousParty:

Can we get some Aphrodite's Child?

11:16am Mark:

boy interpreting bible verse makes Pastor Ken testy

11:16am Cecile:

KENNY G!

11:16am Lizardner Dave:

WOOOOOO!!! KENNY KENNY KENNY KENNY

11:17am BSI:

HOLY CRAP! IT *IS* THE SECOND COMING! ... OR SOMETHING!

11:17am bb:

oh like wednesdays of lore

11:17am AnAnonymousParty:

"And from their asses were brought forth great swarms of locusts, impossible to number, for seventeen days and twenty one nights, and there was much shouting and discomfort."

11:18am blake noah:

good morning wfmu. from china.

11:19am felonious:

please don't drop that h-bomb on me go drop it on yourself

11:21am Carmichael:

Hey Ken, can you play some Charles Manson?? No time like the present.

11:22am bb:

this is priceless, boys

11:24am jill:

I noticed on Ken's wikipedia page, Andy is mentioned. But on Andy's wiki page - no mention of Ken...

11:25am Vicki:

it was probably like a bedtime story, traffic reports to Obama

11:26am Laura L:

A smile is just a frown turned upside down, Kenny G!

11:26am Common:

Thanks, Fox, for the swell PR boost!

11:26am glenn:

how can you not have heard of jill scott, for jeebus' sake?

11:27am Not Who You Think:

None of those people had ever heard of Kenny G!

11:27am Mark:

who dressed you that day Kenny G?

11:29am Thelma:

What's traffic reports a symbol for? What is the real inner meaning of this profound gesture?

11:30am Mark:

10th rate, Kenny G is at least 7th rate!

11:30am mike noble on a bus:

Common's been played quite a bit on wfmu

11:30am Rev. DJ ManRich:

I always thought Michael Savage sounds like a Jerky Boys character.

11:32am R I S K Y:

GOODMORNING KENNY!

11:33am Julie:

what's he wearing?

11:34am efd:

"Host of 'Anal Magic' radio show appears at White House!"

11:35am frenchee:

I love Michael Savage
he DOES sound like a JerkyBoy!

11:35am Michael:

Mr Weiner reflects a standard right-wing mind-set for which a teacher's telling her students something means that they're supposed to believe what is told them absolutely and without question, which is what they want of their children---it's the same reason that they're obsessed with whatever random book their kids might read in school: they want their kids to be utterly uncritical in thinking, so they're very concerned about every little thing they might encounter.

Once you tell kids that they must believe whatever one adult says about one Book, you have to be afraid of any other adult talking about any other book.

11:36am Phone Sex Worker:

Whatt are YOU wearing, Julie?

11:36am bb:

this clearly calls for same hashtag games

11:36am Vicki:

One word: "Fidget" :)

11:37am mike noble on a bus:

I'm gonna be working with a popular female right wing talk show host next week...

11:37am OM:

@Michael: standard authoritarian thinking: http://home.cc.umanitoba.ca/~altemey/

(seriously I cannot recommend this eBook enough)

11:37am bb:

how many times did the FCC force kenny to be suspended?

11:37am Vicki:

from Fidget by Kenneth Goldsmith:
Stops. Pulls. Moves forward. Left hand moves between legs and rubs crack of buttocks. Sphincter loosens. Middle finger glides over anus. Pressure on coccyx. Arm reaches and grasps. Hand flattens. Twists back and forth. Hand moves between legs. Pressure on anus. Pulls. Drops. Hunches. Pulls. Lifts. Stands up. Drops. Turns. Hand reaches and pushes. Left hand grasps. Moves to right. Right hand twists counterclockwise. Right hand shakes. Left hand squeezes. Right hand surges. Quick strokes. Lips purse. Expel saliva. Quick strokes. Expel. Drops. Wipes. Moves left. Steps. Grasps. Both hands pull. Left leg lifts. Left leg drops. Right leg lifts. Right leg drops. Crouches down. Grasp two fingers. Flips. Stretches. Right leg passes. Left leg lifts. Body bends over. Snaps. Pull out. Grasps. Elbows out. Right leg opens. Up. Step through. Left leg lifts. Step through. Grasp. Pull out. Shoulders expand. Suck in. Stomach lifts. Pull. Grasp. Fidget. Fidget. Fidget. Pulls. Twist. Turn. Finger pulls. Tightens. Loops. Leg drops. Leg moves forward. Drops. Pull. Tightens. Loops. Hands move to knees. Step forward. Bend down. Grasp. Grasp. Reach. Pulls down. Slide through. Shoulders hunch. Crimp. Pull out. Drop. Plug. Hear. Press. Right ear turns out. Grasps. Bends down. Pulls straight. Pulls tight. Grasp. Pulls. Step. Step. Stops. Inserts. Turns to right. Step. Step. Three. Four. Five. Step. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Step. Step. Eyes scan. Left hand pulls. Stop. Waits. Breathes. Again. Grasp. Step. Bend. Breathe in through nose. Steps. Vision shifts. Head nods. Rubs genitals.

11:38am Webhamster Henry:

Obama learned everything he knows from major-plagiarist "Professor" Kenneth Goldsmith (What's his REAL name? I bet he's a Muslim).

11:38am Julie:

@Vicki thank you!

11:39am Lizardner Dave:

My DJ isn't actaully speaking over the interview. I imagine that will happen next week.

11:39am annie:

vicki, that sounds like a MJ dance move

11:39am glenn:

i recommend caveman logic, by hank davis.

11:40am Rev. DJ ManRich:

The craziest, perhaps stupidest preacher I've heard so far is Pastor Harry Walther, who I am not entirely convinced isn't a joke.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pastor-harry-walther

11:40am Thelma:

Clothes speak louder than words. No-one could take him seriously as he was costumed. William Burroughs would create a "square front" in such circumstance.

11:40am Vicki:

http://archives.chbooks.com/online_books/fidget/15-00.html

11:41am Lana:

Kenny G's paisley suit OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:41am Julie:

Four weeks in a row, Kenny G read traffic reports. And it's ALL archived for your pleasure

11:42am R I S K Y:

where can i hear these traffic reports? where are the archives? LINK ME!?

11:43am glenn:

the biggest thing on the b.b.c. is the shipping news. traffic reports are nothing.

11:43am Julie:

http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/KG

11:44am holland oats:

dudes i am EATING THIS UP!!! thnx so much!!!

11:44am Julie:

I got to be the lucky one to get the Kenny G complaint calls last summer

11:44am mike noble on a bus:

Ken, if you see this, can you ask him about the linh dinh response. About him dancing for his dictator!

11:46am MIKE V:

I remembering driving home and hearing Kenny say "KOSCIUSKO BRIDGE"...nothing better.

11:46am Julie:

I like the "jam cam" phrase

11:46am CHΣKIJIAN:

Ask Kenny how he will capitalize professionally on his White House appearance.

11:46am Matt:

Kenny G. lecturing somebody on Hart Crane. Maybe those May 21st people are right.

11:47am Cecile:

The Cremation of Sam McGee!

11:47am Music Too Loud!:

I can't hear them! I can't hear them!

11:47am glenn:

sad but true , jewel is the biggest selling american poet ever.

11:47am Carmichael:

Thank you Vicki. My next CD will be titled "Pressure on Anus".

11:47am Julie:

Is Kenny G becoming a famous one of the signs of the apocalypse

11:48am pierre:

i never heard Kenny G before.

11:48am glenn:

besides, robert service was canadian.

11:48am Lizardner Dave:

Service was Jean Shepherd's favorite poet as well. Plenty of audio of that available.

11:48am Carmichael:

Jewel sold more than Rod McKuen?!?

11:48am robert service:

the boys were all whoopin' it up at the malamute saloon

11:49am glenn:

a bunch of the boys were whooping it up at the malamute saloon.

11:51am Michael:

Robert Service wrote a poem I can't find about acquiring a large sum of money---£10000 I think---no matter how well or badly, and then living on the £500/year interest earned by an whole lot of people who aren't you.

11:51am Carmichael:

I was whooping it up yesterday at the micro brew.

11:52am Thelma:

Joan Baez's sister Mimi Farina died a few years ago, but Joan is still thrivithriving.

11:52am Julie:

It would be funny if Rick Savage was talking about Kenny G

11:52am mike noble on a bus:

7sd guest Arrington de dionyso was pretty out there. And he's playing issue project tonight. And he keyed andy's car.

11:53am Michael:

I'll guess it was Meredith Ochs who was baby-sat by Joan Baez (who is evidently not yet dead)...utter guess.

11:54am Julie:

Trash, twang & thunder!

11:54am glenn:

besides, that's from the shooting of dan mcgrew.

11:55am Julie:

Let Lila run the twitter

11:56am Lizardner Dave:

My pledge went to Kenny G every year.

11:56am Vicki:

Kenny's kids should do a show.

11:57am Julie:

"I think you're off the air!" "Umm..no..Kenny is playing silence."

11:57am Laura L:

Bring the kids! We'll pledge for Kenny and the Kids on Anal Magic!

11:57am CHΣKIJIAN:

Oprah's last show is this week, she KNOWS.

11:57am OM:

Anybody have a silent show playlist link?

11:57am glenn:

A bunch of the boys were whooping it up
in the Malamute saloon;
The kid that handles the music-box
was hitting a jag-time tune;
Back of the bar, in a solo game,
sat Dangerous Dan McGrew,
And watching his luck was his light-o'-love,
the lady that's known as Lou.
When out of the night, which was fifty below,
and into the din and the glare,
There stumbled a miner fresh from the creeks,
dog-dirty, and loaded for bear.
He looked like a man with a foot in the grave
and scarcely the strength of a louse,
Yet he tilted a poke of dust on the bar,
and he called for drinks for the house.
There was none could place the stranger's face,
though we searched ourselves for a clue;
But we drank his health, and the last to drink
was Dangerous Dan McGrew.
There's men that somehow just grip your eyes,
and hold them hard like a spell;
And such was he, and he looked to me
like a man who had lived in hell;
With a face most hair, and the dreary stare
of a dog whose day is done,
As he watered the green stuff in his glass,
and the drops fell one by one.
Then I got to figgering who he was,
and wondering what he'd do,
And I turned my head — and there watching him
was the lady that's known as Lou.
His eyes went rubbering round the room,
and he seemed in a kind of daze,
Till at last that old piano fell
in the way of his wandering gaze.
The rag-time kid was having a drink;
there was no one else on the stool,
So the stranger stumbles across the room,
and flops down there like a fool.
In a buckskin shirt that was glazed with dirt
he sat, and I saw him sway;
Then he clutched the keys with his talon hands
— my God! but that man could play.
Were you ever out in the Great Alone,
when the moon was awful clear,
And the icy mountains hemmed you in
with a silence you most could hear;
With only the howl of a timber wolf,
and you camped there in the cold,
A half-dead thing in a stark, dead world,
clean mad for the muck called gold;
While high overhead, green, yellow and red,
the North Lights swept in bars? —
Then you've a hunch what the music meant. . .
hunger and night and the stars.
And hunger not of the belly kind,
that's banished with bacon and beans,
But the gnawing hunger of lonely men
for a home and all that it means;
For a fireside far from the cares that are,
four walls and a roof above;
But oh! so cramful of cosy joy,
and crowned with a woman's love —
A woman dearer than all the world,
and true as Heaven is true —
(God! how ghastly she looks through her rouge, —
the lady that's known as Lou).
Then on a sudden the music changed,
so soft that you scarce could hear;
But you felt that your life had been looted clean
of all that it once held dear;
That someone had stolen the woman you loved;
that her love was a devil's lie;
That your guts were gone, and the best for you
was to crawl away and die.
'Twas the crowning cry of a heart's despair,
and it thrilled you through and through —
"I guess I'll make it a spread misere",
said Dangerous Dan McGrew.
The music almost died away. . .
then it burst like a pent-up flood;
And it seemed to say, "Repay, repay",
and my eyes were blind with blood.
The thought came back of an ancient wrong,
and it stung like a frozen lash,
And the lust awoke to kill, to kill. . .
then the music stopped with a crash,
And the stranger turned, and his eyes they burned
in a most peculiar way;
In a buckskin shirt that was glazed with dirt
he sat, and I saw him sway;
Then his lips went in in a kind of grin,
and he spoke, and his voice was calm,
And "Boys," says he, "you don't know me,
and none of you care a damn;
But I want to state, and my words are straight,
and I'll bet my poke they're true,
That one of you is a hound of hell. . .
and that one is Dan McGrew."
Then I ducked my head, and the lights went out,
and two guns blazed in the dark,
And a woman screamed, and the lights went up,
and two men lay stiff and stark.
Pitched on his head, and pumped full of lead,
was Dangerous Dan McGrew,
While the man from the creeks lay clutched to the breast
of the lady that's known as Lou.
These are the simple facts of the case,
and I guess I ought to know.
They say the stranger was crazed with "hooch",
and I'm not denying it's so.
I'm not so wise as the lawyer guys,
but strictly between us two —
The woman that kissed him and — pinched his poke —
was the lady that's known as Lou.

11:57am hamburger:

Kenny G's hour of pain did just what it did on the tin... and it was terrifying..

11:58am Dan B From Upstate:

Kenny G's thing with a hook?

11:59am Julie:

http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/36648

11:59am Webhamster Henry:

Kenny G's new show: Kenny learns saxophone.

11:59am Thelma:

Tell stories about Aunt Sue.

11:59am Lizardner Dave:

Come back Kenny G!

11:59am Cecile:

I hate you too, Kenny.

11:59am Michael:

What about "kids replace host[s]" week. The childless could send their cats, Boston terriers, and mp3 players

12:00pm glenn:

i like the line "were you ever out in the great alone"

12:00pm R I S K Y:

ANAL MAGIC!

12:00pm Mark:

don't worry, I hate you Kenny

12:00pm BSI:

YES!

12:00pm Laura L:

Come back Kenny G and bring your Anal Magic!

12:00pm woj:

this is way better than even stephen

12:00pm Lizardner Dave:

Can he play the transition from anal magic to intelligent design? One of the best shows ever.

12:01pm Dan B From Upstate:

See you next week on the radio, Ken. I'm sure of it.

12:01pm -max-:

YES!!! Let Anal Magic return to the airwaves!! We love you Kenny!!

12:02pm glenn:

buck henry also wrote get smart. just saying.

12:02pm Lizardner Dave:

Kenny G retypes Robert Service. On the air. Just the sound of an old manual typewriter clicking away for 3 hours. Oh Spider Man.

12:02pm fishmonkeystew:

This is the best show/station ever!

12:02pm jan:

miss you, Kenny

12:03pm Carmichael:

Goodbye, Ken!

12:03pm Cecile:

now i want the Kenny/Clay Pigeon showdown.

12:03pm OM:

Oh man, what a wonderful show!

12:03pm Lizardner Dave:

See you at the pearly gates. Please bring me my SSD t-shirt. Thanks.

12:39am JS:

I WANT MY ANAL MAGIC BACK!

12:42pm dvcd:

if you believe the rapture was on the 21st ...your a moron